Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

NOTES;= These questions highlight the real life issues that married couples will face. Each person will look at these issues differently. Talking through them before marriage will help the couple to better understand each other and whether they think they have what it takes to make the marriage works. Not that they must necessary share the same views, but that they know what the differences might be and how they can best handle it. If during the pre-marital phase of such sharing, the couple discover such big gaps that they cannot bridge, then its a clear sign they need to seriously re-think their relationship moving forward.

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

Published: December 17, 2006

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

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